As you may well know, two of Paramore's original members--Josh and Zac Farro--have left the band. Upon first hearing this news, i was absolutely devastated. Paramore used to be one of my all time favorite bands--they had a beautiful, stylish, and incredibly talented female lead singer who served as a source of inspiration to me, and they made music that encouraged and uplifted me in the midst of my angst-ridden high school years. i admired them so much, but now, i don't know what to think.

Josh released his exit statement on his blogger, and as i was reading it, i felt really sad. It seems as if the band was awkwardly brought together, that the band was only created in order to promote Hayley as a solo artist, that the band was in a constant state of disagreement with each other, that the band was somehow illegitimate in its existence. Certainly, there must be some bias in Josh's statement since Josh and Hayley were at some point romantically involved, which could definitely lead to bitter feelings, and maybe Josh was upset about how much attention she was getting, and maybe that attention was getting to her head. But i can't know if what Josh or even what Hayley says is true. It just makes me utterly sad that i am so unsure of them. They were such an inspiration to me, and now it seems as if everything that i loved about them was a total lie. Who am i supposed to believe--Hayley or Josh? Was Josh's blog post actually posted by Josh, or is it entirely make believe? What really happened? Will i ever find out the truth?

Honestly, i don't even want to know anymore. The fact that there is so much drama surrounding this event is making me upset. i want to believe that the Paramore i loved in my youth was a true reflection of Paramore whose CDs i bought, whose youtube videos i watched, whose twitters i followed, whose songs i sang to myself while vacuuming the wooden floors of my room, whose televised performances made me wish that i could experience their music live in my home town.

i hope that one day, some of this will make sense.